If your child is in Year 4 or 5 and you’re even thinking about grammar school, you’ve probably already heard the buzz around the 11+ entrance exam – and all the pressure that comes with it.
You might be wondering:
“Is my child falling behind their friends if we haven’t started preparing yet?”
“How much is too much when it comes to 11+ prep?”
“Do we even need to start now?”
You’re not alone. As a tutor who’s supported many children through this process over the years, I’ve seen firsthand how confusing it can be for families trying to make the right decision – without burning their child out or losing sight of what really matters.
In this post, we’ll take a closer look at whether 11+ preparation is truly necessary, and if so, how to approach it in a way that supports your child’s wellbeing and sets them up for success.
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What Is the 11+, Anyway?
The 11+ is a selective entrance exam used by grammar schools and some independent schools to determine admissions. It usually takes place in the autumn term of Year 6 and, depending on your area or the school, includes a mix of:
- Verbal reasoning
- Non-verbal reasoning
- Maths
- English
In this post, we’re focusing on verbal reasoning, which along with non-verbal reasoning, can be an unfamiliar area for many children as it’s not typically taught in mainstream primary schools.
Verbal reasoning involves logic, vocabulary, and language-based problem-solving. Children might be asked to find patterns in words, complete analogies, or spot relationships between different word types.
It’s not about regurgitating what they’ve learned in school. It’s about how they think.
Why Some Preparation Helps – But It Doesn’t Have to Be Intense
It’s true: grammar school exams are competitive. And yes, the question styles can catch children off guard if they’ve never seen anything like them before.
But that doesn’t mean you need to start drilling your child with practice papers every weekend.
Here’s what gentle, thoughtful preparation can do:
✅ Help children become familiar with the types of questions they’ll see
✅ Build confidence in tackling problems they haven’t seen before
✅ Strengthen skills like logic, working memory, and flexible thinking – without rote learning
When introduced in the right way, these skills can be developed through fun puzzles, games, and short, focused practice sessions. The key is little and often, not long and stressful.
The Problem With Pushing Too Hard, Too Soon
When 11+ prep becomes the centre of a child’s life, it can start to backfire. I’ve seen children become:
- Overwhelmed and anxious
- Bored or resistant to learning
- Convinced they’re not smart enough – even when they are
And that’s heartbreaking. Because no child should feel like their worth depends on passing a test at 10 or 11 years old.
Excessive preparation can also crowd out the things that matter most at this age: creativity, curiosity, play, and joy in learning. In many cases, I’ve watched children thrive more when families take the pressure off and focus on building skills in a supportive, playful way.
🛠️ Try This at Home
Here’s a quick activity that you can do at home with little to no prep.
Play ‘Odd Word Out’:
Give your child a list of 4–5 words and ask them to explain which word doesn’t belong – and why.
Examples:
- Cat, Dog, Cow, Apple
Answer: Apple (it’s not an animal).
A less clear cut example could be:
- February, August, December, January
Answer: August (it’s not a winter month)
Encourage creative thinking. There may be more than one “correct” answer depending on their reasoning! Although these questions in the exams will only have one correct answer.
A Gentle Approach That Still Gets Results
So what does balanced 11+ prep actually look like?
Here’s what I recommend, and what I’ll be offering in my upcoming live online classes, in-person workshops, and mini DIY course:
🌱 Start with bite-sized practice that fits around family life
🎲 Use games, logic puzzles, and language play to build key skills
🧠 Focus on how your child thinks, not just whether they get the right answer
🎯 Support problem-solving strategies rather than memorising patterns
🧡 Prioritise confidence and mindset just as much as content
If your child is already doing well at school, they likely don’t need tutoring several times a week to do well in the 11+. But they will benefit from exposure to verbal reasoning questions and a chance to build their confidence at their own pace.
Final Thoughts: You Know Your Child Best
At the end of the day, whether or not to prepare for the 11+ is a personal decision. As is how you prepare.
If you’re looking for a balanced, child-friendly way to support your child without putting their wellbeing at risk, you’re in the right place.
Over the coming weeks, I’ll be sharing more tips and resources to help you gently build your child’s verbal reasoning skills – without the stress. And if you’re interested in working with me through live or self-paced learning, you’ll be the first to know when my classes and courses open for booking.
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